My goals this week are ambitious but 100% LIKELY.
Current Weight-about 123
Lowest Adult Weight-105
Goal Weight- 93 pounds.
This week's goal weight is 116.5 pounds with clothes on by Friday.
I have something to bring up. My boyfriend and I were watching Glenn Beck last night, and Glenn was interviewing Janice Dickinson to world's first supermodel. Glenn brought up how he doesn't allow fashion magazines in the house, and how models are too skinny and why don't they all eat a sandwich.
At the same time, I was surfing the net for reverse thinspiration videos and other pro-ana things, My boyfriend caught me looking at the reverse thinspiration things and asked me why I was doing it. I said"to remind myself not to be fat."
He like" That's what they are talking about on here. Why are you doing it?"
I said" Because I live on this planet!"
Like it or not, we are judged by our features. Would you rather by an old beat up car or a flashy slick new black sports car with all the fixins? As a woman, I feel the need to stay competitve and attractive in society for acdeptance. It has a lot to do with other females accepting us too.
Somewhere in Africa, they practice female circumcision. If you don't know the horror or it, a twelve year old girl is iced and has her clit removed without an painkiller to keep her from craving sex and reming pure. They figure if that pleasure it out of it, she will only give herself to her husband and not commit adultery. Let me just say, I don't think woman are always the problem! The girls embrace this, although scared. One girl was reported to say"the other girls don't want to play around you if you are not fixed, you are no acceptable in their eyes."
In the Western world, we have our own battle with weight. As America and other countries grow fatter, so is our need to see bones. To see progress. I am a girl in America, and I don't like it when people say I have put on weight. Of course I love it when they say I'm too skinny. I love to catch a guy's eye when I go throughout my day. It tells me I'm still worth something in this shallow, throw away society.
The Lord sees the heart. I'm not a shallow person on the inside. At least, I hope not that much. I just am trying to keep up in a land where everyone shoots first, and asks questions later.
So to my boyfriend, I'm in a catch 22 with the world. Do I embrace"Real Beauty" or keep up with the pack? Things to think about. I'm going to the gym now. Love,love,love!